Life is bittersweet

I love studying abroad. It's exciting, liberating, and enlightening. I love Cadiz and its beaches. I should be happy and I am, but I recently found out that my dog Rico has cancer. He is going to pass away this month and I won't be able to hug him again. It's truly heartbreaking because he is only eight and I am away. Currently, I am having the time of my life, but also dealing with the grief that is consuming my insides because someone I love is dying.

Rico is a great dog. I still remember getting him in the spring when I was in middle school and holding him the entire car ride while he chewed on my overalls. (Yes, I wore overalls, and yes I thought they were awesome). When we would take him on walks as a puppy, he would just lay down when he was tired and we would carry him the whole way home. Rico was always a bundle of sweetness, an angel under a coat of black and white fur. He loved me and showed it to me in many gestures. He used to sleep on my bed and snuggle so hard into me that he would push me enough to take the majority of my bed. When I left for UW and didn't come back for an entire month, he was so mad that he wouldn't let me pet him and would jump off of the couch when I sat next to him for at least the next four times I visited home. Before I left for Spain, my mom would joke about how mad he was going to be at me when I returned. I guess I will never have to experience Rico moody again.

I find that keeping busy and talking about what is happening once in awhile is really helping me deal with this loss. He is more than a dog because he was so personable. Whenever we had a party, he always insisted on introducing himself to everyone by smiling and wagging his tail. I will miss him, but it's the cycle of being a dog owner. You get a puppy, love it and integrate it into your family and as your dog ages, the relationship grows until he passes.



I don't think that him being gone will really set in until I return home and I have two dogs greeting me instead of three. I will finally be able to pet one dog with each hand, but the space in between where Rico should be will hurt and be as empty as the hole in my heart.